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Why Proximity Breeds Empathy | Business with Purpose Podcast EP 288: Tyler Merritt, The Tyler Merritt Project

Why Proximity Breeds Empathy | Business with Purpose Podcast EP 288: Tyler Merritt, The Tyler Merritt Project

Why Proximity Breeds Empathy | Business with Purpose Podcast EP 288: Tyler Merritt, The Tyler Merritt Project

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  • Why Proximity Breeds Empathy | Business with Purpose Podcast EP 288: Tyler Merritt, The Tyler Merritt Project
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Click a timestamp below to be taken to the exact spot in the episode…

My guest this week is Tyler Merritt, creator of the viral video, “Before You Call the Cops.” As a 6’2″ dreadlocked black man, Tyler knows what it feels like to be stereotyped as threatening, which can have dangerous consequences. But he also knows that proximity to people who are different from ourselves can be a cure for racism. 

Tyler has appeared on Jimmy Kimmel and Sports Illustrated and has been profiled in the New York Times. The viral video’s main point—the more you know someone, the more empathy, understanding, and compassion you have for that person—is the springboard for his new book. 

In his book, I Take My Coffee Black, Tyler tells hilarious stories from his own life as a black man in America. Throughout his stories, he also seamlessly weaves in lessons about privilege, the legacy of lynching and sharecropping and why you don’t cross black mamas. He teaches readers about the history of encoded racism that still undergirds our society today.

5:07 – Tyler 101

  • He describes himself as an actor, author, activist and encourager – not necessarily in that order.
  • He has had all kinds of friends over the years – gay, straight, black, white, Christian, Muslim, etc. 
  • He wanted to create content to connect people with love, laughter and creativity.

11:32 – Before You Call the Cops

  • Tyler created the video because it was on his heart. It’s 3 minutes of him talking about himself. He didn’t think anyone would want to watch it.
  • He sent the video to his friend, Lisa. She texted back, “This feels holy.”
  • Tyler wants people to know, “Your story matters. Your words matter. You are significantly created to be you. 

20:34 – Super Bowl halftime show

  • Tyler jokes he would have died if hologram Tupac performed at the Super Bowl halftime show.

26:52 – Proximity to different people

  • Proximity to people who aren’t like you can help stop racism. 
  • Tyler uses humor throughout his book, while also sneaking in historic moments in black life.

34:30 – Not being caged

  • Tyler didn’t write the book for Christians. He didn’t want to feel like he was caged while writing the book. 
  • When writing a book, write what is you. Write what is true. 
  • He wasn’t concerned about sales. He wanted to be true to himself. 

38:37 – More diversity in churches

  • Don’t just ask black people to come to your church. Make sure you hire black people to be on the leadership team and staff.
  • Black churches are the social justice committee every Sunday morning. When George Floyd was murdered, black churches talked about it. 

41:20 – The beauty of others

  • Go to an environment where there are people that are different than you and just exist for a little while. Your kids will begin to pick up on the beauty of other individuals. 

44:34 – Get to know you

  • Guilty pleasure? Yellowstone TV show
  • Dream career? Being a teacher

FEATURED QUOTES

By the end of the book, you have proximity to me that the next time you see a 6’2” man with dreadlocks walking down the street, you begin to wonder, what is this man’s story?

I am an actor, author, activist, and also known as an encourager. 

I began dreaming about doing something significant in the world as a young, young kid. 

If I had known that over 100 million people were going to see this video, I would have put a shirt on. 

Your story matters. Your words matter. You are significantly created to be you. 

Go to an environment where there are people that are different than you and just exist for a little while. Your kids will begin to pick up on the beauty of other individuals. 

LINKS!

  • https://www.instagram.com/thetylermerrittproject/?hl=en
  • https://www.worthypublishing.com/titles/tyler-merritt/i-take-my-coffee-black/9781546029410/
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGu_xGBekpo

ABOUT TYLER MERRITT:

Tyler Merritt is a Nashville-based actor, activist, cancer survivor, founder of The Tyler Merritt Project, and author of “I TAKE MY COFFEE BLACK: REFLECTIONS ON TUPAC, MUSICAL THEATER, FAITH AND BEING BLACK IN AMERICA.” Over the course of his career, Tyler has gained recognition through notable acting projects including “Kevin Probably Saves The World,” “Outer Banks,” and “The Outsider,” as well as serving as the face of the worldwide teaching curriculum for The Gospel Project for Kids. Most recently, Tyler Merritt made headlines with his 2018 viral video “Before You Call The Cops,” which has been viewed by over 60 million people worldwide and appeared on Jimmy Kimmel, MSNBC, and the New York Times. As a 6’2” dreadlocked Black man living in America, where racial injustices continue to plague our society, Tyler has emerged as a steadfast activist in the face of racism.

Thank you to our partner of the show!

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Can’t stop won’t stop.

#galileejoy #newbornlife #babyhumor

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Can’t stop won’t stop. 

#galileejoy #newbornlife #babyhumor

Just got our maternity pictures back and I love them so much. And so thankful we got them taken in the nick of time. Grateful doesn’t cut it. 📸 @stellaandbirdiephotography //

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Just got our maternity pictures back and I love them so much. And so thankful we got them taken in the nick of time. Grateful doesn’t cut it. 📸 @stellaandbirdiephotography //

Extra extra thankful this year. Happy Thanksgiving from the fab-5 Stillman crew. 🦃🍁🍽🧡

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Extra extra thankful this year. Happy Thanksgiving from the fab-5 Stillman crew. 🦃🍁🍽🧡

Two weeks with this punkin’ and I’m wondering if there’s some sort of serum we could give her to keep her this precious and tiny forever. Also, this is a Galilee fan account now. #galileejoy

(sweater from her seminary auntie @13buttercreamstreet)

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Two weeks with this punkin’ and I’m wondering if there’s some sort of serum we could give her to keep her this precious and tiny forever. Also, this is a Galilee fan account now. #galileejoy 

(sweater from her seminary auntie @13buttercreamstreet)

On #worldprematurityday, our preemie, Galilee Joy, would like to say: “Already this household is bending to my every will! Muahahahahaha.”

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On #worldprematurityday, our preemie, Galilee Joy, would like to say: “Already this household is bending to my every will! Muahahahahaha.”

World, meet the miracle we never knew we’d witness… our daughter, the best surprise of our lives: Galilee Joy Stillman.

I’ve wrestled with how I’d even begin to write a post like this, but at this point, this is my imperfect attempt. For those that have followed along, in 2018, we lost our sons Elijah and Malachi in back-to-back second trimester losses. After that, we essentially were told we couldn’t have more children and so we’d grieved, but accepted the reality, and trusted God in it all.

Fast forward to April of 2025, and I find myself with the surprise of a lifetime - a positive pregnancy test. We chose to keep the news close to ourselves and just our close friends and family… this pregnancy was not without its complications (pregnant at 40 is NO JOKE 🥴), but God’s hand was in every detail. Also, hiding this from the internet was a challenge! 😂

This past Monday, I went in for a routine OB checkup at 35 weeks and, long story long, ended up in the hospital, diagnosed with severe preeclampsia and sent into an emergency c-section. Our miracle was born at 5:25pm and the sound of her cry filled the room with JOY. We didn’t find out her gender until birth so hearing “it’s a girl!” was such sweet news!

This week has not been without its challenges for us both and we’re not out of the hospital yet, but we’re thankful that God’s been protecting us all along. I’m at a loss for words at how the people in our lives have showed up for us this week and beyond. There aren’t enough thank yous to adequately express our gratitude.

I’ll share her full birth story at some point because it’s a doozy.

For those who pray, we will gladly accept any you would like to send our way.

For now, enjoy a few pics of our Galilee Joy. 💕 #galileejoy

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World, meet the miracle we never knew we’d witness… our daughter, the best surprise of our lives: Galilee Joy Stillman. 

I’ve wrestled with how I’d even begin to write a post like this, but at this point, this is my imperfect attempt. For those that have followed along, in 2018, we lost our sons Elijah and Malachi in back-to-back second trimester losses. After that, we essentially were told we couldn’t have more children and so we’d grieved, but accepted the reality, and trusted God in it all. 

Fast forward to April of 2025, and I find myself with the surprise of a lifetime - a positive pregnancy test. We chose to keep the news close to ourselves and just our close friends and family… this pregnancy was not without its complications (pregnant at 40 is NO JOKE 🥴), but God’s hand was in every detail. Also, hiding this from the internet was a challenge! 😂

This past Monday, I went in for a routine OB checkup at 35 weeks and, long story long, ended up in the hospital, diagnosed with severe preeclampsia and sent into an emergency c-section. Our miracle was born at 5:25pm and the sound of her cry filled the room with JOY. We didn’t find out her gender until birth so hearing “it’s a girl!” was such sweet news!

This week has not been without its challenges for us both and we’re not out of the hospital yet, but we’re thankful that God’s been protecting us all along. I’m at a loss for words at how the people in our lives have showed up for us this week and beyond. There aren’t enough thank yous to adequately express our gratitude. 

I’ll share her full birth story at some point because it’s a doozy. 

For those who pray, we will gladly accept any you would like to send our way. 

For now, enjoy a few pics of our Galilee Joy. 💕  #galileejoy

Six years ago I felt God calling me to go to Seminary. I ignored that call, coming up with excuse after excuse as to why I shouldn’t or why I *couldn’t* do it. Then in 2024, God swung the door to attend @denverseminary wide open to join the Women’s Leadership Cohort and practically shoved me through.

I’m finishing my first full year and just completed my first residency week on campus studying the Epistles and Revelation. I didn’t know what to expect walking into this week, but any expectation I COULD have had was completely blown away.

To study under the brilliant Dr. Joey Dodson (@jrrdodson) and guests like @preston.sprinkle, @madisonpiercephd, @studies_in_revelation, and more was incredible. To learn alongside some of the most brilliant women I’ve ever met was a gift.

I’m leaving with even more questions than I arrived with, but also more assurance that I am PRECISELY where I am supposed to be. I can’t help but smile thinking about the Apostle Paul learning that in 2025 a group of WOMEN are studying the Word of God and how much that would delight him. I pray I steward this responsibility well. #womeninseminary #densem #denverseminary #seminary #densemwlc #womensleadershipcohort

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Six years ago I felt God calling me to go to Seminary. I ignored that call, coming up with excuse after excuse as to why I shouldn’t or why I *couldn’t* do it. Then in 2024, God swung the door to attend @denverseminary wide open to join the Women’s Leadership Cohort and practically shoved me through. 

I’m finishing my first full year and just completed my first residency week on campus studying the Epistles and Revelation. I didn’t know what to expect walking into this week, but any expectation I COULD have had was completely blown away. 

To study under the brilliant Dr. Joey Dodson (@jrrdodson) and guests like @preston.sprinkle, @madisonpiercephd, @studies_in_revelation, and more was incredible. To learn alongside some of the most brilliant women I’ve ever met was a gift. 

I’m leaving with even more questions than I arrived with, but also more assurance that I am PRECISELY where I am supposed to be. I can’t help but smile thinking about the Apostle Paul learning that in 2025 a group of WOMEN are studying the Word of God and how much that would delight him. I pray I steward this responsibility well. #womeninseminary #densem #denverseminary #seminary #densemwlc #womensleadershipcohort

“Let the strength of your passion match the depth of your study.”
-Preston Sprinkle

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“Let the strength of your passion match the depth of your study.”
-Preston Sprinkle

Two days in to my seminary residency week at @denverseminary and I feel like I’ve aged 1,000 years in oddly the best way.

What a gift, what a joy, what a PRIVILEGE to study God’s word under some of the greatest scholars of our day alongside the most brilliant group of women.

We are being stretched, challenged, affirmed, convicted, and shaped. Nary a one of us will leave this place the same.

But isn’t that the goal? To encounter Christ and walk away different every single time.

To God be the glory. #denverseminary #womeninseminary #womensleadershipcohort #densemwlc

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Two days in to my seminary residency week at @denverseminary and I feel like I’ve aged 1,000 years in oddly the best way. 

What a gift, what a joy, what a PRIVILEGE to study God’s word under some of the greatest scholars of our day alongside the most brilliant group of women. 

We are being stretched, challenged, affirmed, convicted, and shaped. Nary a one of us will leave this place the same. 

But isn’t that the goal? To encounter Christ and walk away different every single time. 

To God be the glory. #denverseminary #womeninseminary #womensleadershipcohort #densemwlc

Our girl graduated fifth grade today and sang the National Anthem 🥹 And yes, I was a blubbery mess. I’m so grateful God saw fit for me to be her mama. We are so proud of the amazing young woman she’s becoming. #lillstillhomemovies

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Our girl graduated fifth grade today and sang the National Anthem 🥹 And yes, I was a blubbery mess. I’m so grateful God saw fit for me to be her mama. We are so proud of the amazing young woman she’s becoming. #lillstillhomemovies
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