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The Enneagram & Marriage with Christa Hardin | Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast EP: 362

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  • The Enneagram & Marriage with Christa Hardin | Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast EP: 362
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I am so excited to be joined by Christa Hardin this week, founder of Reflections Counseling Center and the host of the immensely popular Enneagram and Marriage podcast, which has over a million downloads. For over two decades, Christa has been helping couples find renewal and happiness together. Utilizing the Enneagram, alongside other research-based marriage tools, she works to offer couples a deeper understanding of their unique strengths and shadows.

This episode brings a powerful exploration of how our individual personalities influence our ability to communicate in relationships. We’ll also dive into the exciting release of Christa’s new book, “The Enneagram in Marriage: Your Guide to Thriving Together in Your Unique Pairing,” which is set to hit the shelves this month.

4:02 – Christa 101

  • A calling to working with couples
  • Using the Enneagram as a tool in counseling
  • “You shine brighter in the world when your gifts are in harmony together”

18:43 – Understanding your spouse

  • The 9 types of Enneagram personalities
  • Seeking out how to love each other
  • Express what you’re learning about yourself

28:42 – Relationship dynamics through the Enneagram

  • Working with couples of different Enneagram types
  • Recognizing strengths and shadows within a relationship
  • Bringing your unique gifts to the table

35:40 – Some common enneagram parings

  • Enneagram 1 and 3
  • Enneagram 8 and 9
  • Marriage as a marathon, not a sprint

41:46 – Using the enneagram to learn about yourself

  • Starting generous conversations
  • Date nights each week
  • Christa’s new book coming out October 3rd, 2023

FEATURED QUOTES

You shine brighter in the world when your gifts are in harmony together.

By looking at the way our spouse sees the world differently, we do become more expansive.

There’s these little cues you can start giving to your spouse as you come to know your personality.

https://www.enneagraminyourmarriage.com/home

Jesse Eubanks show: https://www.stillbeingmolly.com/podcast/jesse-eubanks-332/

Ian Morgan Cron show: https://www.stillbeingmolly.com/podcast/enneagram-ian-morgan-cron/

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Some seasons stretch you in ways you wouldn’t choose, but end up shaping you anyway. Today, I finished my fourth semester of seminary (I`m officially halfway through!) in the middle of a beautiful and hard season... it reminded me that growth doesn’t come from having it all figured out. It comes from showing up, staying connected, and trusting that what’s forming quietly now will matter later.

Grateful for the lessons I didn’t plan on learning. 🤍

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Some seasons stretch you in ways you wouldn’t choose, but end up shaping you anyway. Today, I finished my fourth semester of seminary (I'm officially halfway through!) in the middle of a beautiful and hard season... it reminded me that growth doesn’t come from having it all figured out. It comes from showing up, staying connected, and trusting that what’s forming quietly now will matter later. 

Grateful for the lessons I didn’t plan on learning. 🤍

⭐️ ONE MONTH ⭐️

How is she one month already? Also, why was my pregnancy 753 years long, but she was born five seconds ago. This girl has been the greatest blessing and surprise of our lives and we are obsessed with her.

Her quilt handmade by my dear friend @beakersandbobbins is perfect for this btw. 😭🥹😍 #galileejoy

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⭐️ ONE MONTH ⭐️ 

How is she one month already? Also, why was my pregnancy 753 years long, but she was born five seconds ago. This girl has been the greatest blessing and surprise of our lives and we are obsessed with her. 

Her quilt handmade by my dear friend @beakersandbobbins is perfect for this btw. 😭🥹😍 #galileejoy

Can’t stop won’t stop.

#galileejoy #newbornlife #babyhumor

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Can’t stop won’t stop. 

#galileejoy #newbornlife #babyhumor

Just got our maternity pictures back and I love them so much. And so thankful we got them taken in the nick of time. Grateful doesn’t cut it. 📸 @stellaandbirdiephotography //

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Just got our maternity pictures back and I love them so much. And so thankful we got them taken in the nick of time. Grateful doesn’t cut it. 📸 @stellaandbirdiephotography //

Extra extra thankful this year. Happy Thanksgiving from the fab-5 Stillman crew. 🦃🍁🍽🧡

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Extra extra thankful this year. Happy Thanksgiving from the fab-5 Stillman crew. 🦃🍁🍽🧡

Two weeks with this punkin’ and I’m wondering if there’s some sort of serum we could give her to keep her this precious and tiny forever. Also, this is a Galilee fan account now. #galileejoy

(sweater from her seminary auntie @13buttercreamstreet)

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Two weeks with this punkin’ and I’m wondering if there’s some sort of serum we could give her to keep her this precious and tiny forever. Also, this is a Galilee fan account now. #galileejoy 

(sweater from her seminary auntie @13buttercreamstreet)

On #worldprematurityday, our preemie, Galilee Joy, would like to say: “Already this household is bending to my every will! Muahahahahaha.”

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On #worldprematurityday, our preemie, Galilee Joy, would like to say: “Already this household is bending to my every will! Muahahahahaha.”

World, meet the miracle we never knew we’d witness… our daughter, the best surprise of our lives: Galilee Joy Stillman.

I’ve wrestled with how I’d even begin to write a post like this, but at this point, this is my imperfect attempt. For those that have followed along, in 2018, we lost our sons Elijah and Malachi in back-to-back second trimester losses. After that, we essentially were told we couldn’t have more children and so we’d grieved, but accepted the reality, and trusted God in it all.

Fast forward to April of 2025, and I find myself with the surprise of a lifetime - a positive pregnancy test. We chose to keep the news close to ourselves and just our close friends and family… this pregnancy was not without its complications (pregnant at 40 is NO JOKE 🥴), but God’s hand was in every detail. Also, hiding this from the internet was a challenge! 😂

This past Monday, I went in for a routine OB checkup at 35 weeks and, long story long, ended up in the hospital, diagnosed with severe preeclampsia and sent into an emergency c-section. Our miracle was born at 5:25pm and the sound of her cry filled the room with JOY. We didn’t find out her gender until birth so hearing “it’s a girl!” was such sweet news!

This week has not been without its challenges for us both and we’re not out of the hospital yet, but we’re thankful that God’s been protecting us all along. I’m at a loss for words at how the people in our lives have showed up for us this week and beyond. There aren’t enough thank yous to adequately express our gratitude.

I’ll share her full birth story at some point because it’s a doozy.

For those who pray, we will gladly accept any you would like to send our way.

For now, enjoy a few pics of our Galilee Joy. 💕 #galileejoy

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World, meet the miracle we never knew we’d witness… our daughter, the best surprise of our lives: Galilee Joy Stillman. 

I’ve wrestled with how I’d even begin to write a post like this, but at this point, this is my imperfect attempt. For those that have followed along, in 2018, we lost our sons Elijah and Malachi in back-to-back second trimester losses. After that, we essentially were told we couldn’t have more children and so we’d grieved, but accepted the reality, and trusted God in it all. 

Fast forward to April of 2025, and I find myself with the surprise of a lifetime - a positive pregnancy test. We chose to keep the news close to ourselves and just our close friends and family… this pregnancy was not without its complications (pregnant at 40 is NO JOKE 🥴), but God’s hand was in every detail. Also, hiding this from the internet was a challenge! 😂

This past Monday, I went in for a routine OB checkup at 35 weeks and, long story long, ended up in the hospital, diagnosed with severe preeclampsia and sent into an emergency c-section. Our miracle was born at 5:25pm and the sound of her cry filled the room with JOY. We didn’t find out her gender until birth so hearing “it’s a girl!” was such sweet news!

This week has not been without its challenges for us both and we’re not out of the hospital yet, but we’re thankful that God’s been protecting us all along. I’m at a loss for words at how the people in our lives have showed up for us this week and beyond. There aren’t enough thank yous to adequately express our gratitude. 

I’ll share her full birth story at some point because it’s a doozy. 

For those who pray, we will gladly accept any you would like to send our way. 

For now, enjoy a few pics of our Galilee Joy. 💕  #galileejoy

Six years ago I felt God calling me to go to Seminary. I ignored that call, coming up with excuse after excuse as to why I shouldn’t or why I *couldn’t* do it. Then in 2024, God swung the door to attend @denverseminary wide open to join the Women’s Leadership Cohort and practically shoved me through.

I’m finishing my first full year and just completed my first residency week on campus studying the Epistles and Revelation. I didn’t know what to expect walking into this week, but any expectation I COULD have had was completely blown away.

To study under the brilliant Dr. Joey Dodson (@jrrdodson) and guests like @preston.sprinkle, @madisonpiercephd, @studies_in_revelation, and more was incredible. To learn alongside some of the most brilliant women I’ve ever met was a gift.

I’m leaving with even more questions than I arrived with, but also more assurance that I am PRECISELY where I am supposed to be. I can’t help but smile thinking about the Apostle Paul learning that in 2025 a group of WOMEN are studying the Word of God and how much that would delight him. I pray I steward this responsibility well. #womeninseminary #densem #denverseminary #seminary #densemwlc #womensleadershipcohort

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Six years ago I felt God calling me to go to Seminary. I ignored that call, coming up with excuse after excuse as to why I shouldn’t or why I *couldn’t* do it. Then in 2024, God swung the door to attend @denverseminary wide open to join the Women’s Leadership Cohort and practically shoved me through. 

I’m finishing my first full year and just completed my first residency week on campus studying the Epistles and Revelation. I didn’t know what to expect walking into this week, but any expectation I COULD have had was completely blown away. 

To study under the brilliant Dr. Joey Dodson (@jrrdodson) and guests like @preston.sprinkle, @madisonpiercephd, @studies_in_revelation, and more was incredible. To learn alongside some of the most brilliant women I’ve ever met was a gift. 

I’m leaving with even more questions than I arrived with, but also more assurance that I am PRECISELY where I am supposed to be. I can’t help but smile thinking about the Apostle Paul learning that in 2025 a group of WOMEN are studying the Word of God and how much that would delight him. I pray I steward this responsibility well. #womeninseminary #densem #denverseminary #seminary #densemwlc #womensleadershipcohort

“Let the strength of your passion match the depth of your study.”
-Preston Sprinkle

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“Let the strength of your passion match the depth of your study.”
-Preston Sprinkle
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