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Why Proximity Breeds Empathy | Business with Purpose Podcast EP 288: Tyler Merritt, The Tyler Merritt Project

Why Proximity Breeds Empathy | Business with Purpose Podcast EP 288: Tyler Merritt, The Tyler Merritt Project

Why Proximity Breeds Empathy | Business with Purpose Podcast EP 288: Tyler Merritt, The Tyler Merritt Project

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  • Why Proximity Breeds Empathy | Business with Purpose Podcast EP 288: Tyler Merritt, The Tyler Merritt Project
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Click a timestamp below to be taken to the exact spot in the episode…

My guest this week is Tyler Merritt, creator of the viral video, “Before You Call the Cops.” As a 6’2″ dreadlocked black man, Tyler knows what it feels like to be stereotyped as threatening, which can have dangerous consequences. But he also knows that proximity to people who are different from ourselves can be a cure for racism. 

Tyler has appeared on Jimmy Kimmel and Sports Illustrated and has been profiled in the New York Times. The viral video’s main point—the more you know someone, the more empathy, understanding, and compassion you have for that person—is the springboard for his new book. 

In his book, I Take My Coffee Black, Tyler tells hilarious stories from his own life as a black man in America. Throughout his stories, he also seamlessly weaves in lessons about privilege, the legacy of lynching and sharecropping and why you don’t cross black mamas. He teaches readers about the history of encoded racism that still undergirds our society today.

5:07 – Tyler 101

  • He describes himself as an actor, author, activist and encourager – not necessarily in that order.
  • He has had all kinds of friends over the years – gay, straight, black, white, Christian, Muslim, etc. 
  • He wanted to create content to connect people with love, laughter and creativity.

11:32 – Before You Call the Cops

  • Tyler created the video because it was on his heart. It’s 3 minutes of him talking about himself. He didn’t think anyone would want to watch it.
  • He sent the video to his friend, Lisa. She texted back, “This feels holy.”
  • Tyler wants people to know, “Your story matters. Your words matter. You are significantly created to be you. 

20:34 – Super Bowl halftime show

  • Tyler jokes he would have died if hologram Tupac performed at the Super Bowl halftime show.

26:52 – Proximity to different people

  • Proximity to people who aren’t like you can help stop racism. 
  • Tyler uses humor throughout his book, while also sneaking in historic moments in black life.

34:30 – Not being caged

  • Tyler didn’t write the book for Christians. He didn’t want to feel like he was caged while writing the book. 
  • When writing a book, write what is you. Write what is true. 
  • He wasn’t concerned about sales. He wanted to be true to himself. 

38:37 – More diversity in churches

  • Don’t just ask black people to come to your church. Make sure you hire black people to be on the leadership team and staff.
  • Black churches are the social justice committee every Sunday morning. When George Floyd was murdered, black churches talked about it. 

41:20 – The beauty of others

  • Go to an environment where there are people that are different than you and just exist for a little while. Your kids will begin to pick up on the beauty of other individuals. 

44:34 – Get to know you

  • Guilty pleasure? Yellowstone TV show
  • Dream career? Being a teacher

FEATURED QUOTES

By the end of the book, you have proximity to me that the next time you see a 6’2” man with dreadlocks walking down the street, you begin to wonder, what is this man’s story?

I am an actor, author, activist, and also known as an encourager. 

I began dreaming about doing something significant in the world as a young, young kid. 

If I had known that over 100 million people were going to see this video, I would have put a shirt on. 

Your story matters. Your words matter. You are significantly created to be you. 

Go to an environment where there are people that are different than you and just exist for a little while. Your kids will begin to pick up on the beauty of other individuals. 

LINKS!

  • https://www.instagram.com/thetylermerrittproject/?hl=en
  • https://www.worthypublishing.com/titles/tyler-merritt/i-take-my-coffee-black/9781546029410/
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGu_xGBekpo

ABOUT TYLER MERRITT:

Tyler Merritt is a Nashville-based actor, activist, cancer survivor, founder of The Tyler Merritt Project, and author of “I TAKE MY COFFEE BLACK: REFLECTIONS ON TUPAC, MUSICAL THEATER, FAITH AND BEING BLACK IN AMERICA.” Over the course of his career, Tyler has gained recognition through notable acting projects including “Kevin Probably Saves The World,” “Outer Banks,” and “The Outsider,” as well as serving as the face of the worldwide teaching curriculum for The Gospel Project for Kids. Most recently, Tyler Merritt made headlines with his 2018 viral video “Before You Call The Cops,” which has been viewed by over 60 million people worldwide and appeared on Jimmy Kimmel, MSNBC, and the New York Times. As a 6’2” dreadlocked Black man living in America, where racial injustices continue to plague our society, Tyler has emerged as a steadfast activist in the face of racism.

Thank you to our partner of the show!

Are you looking to clean up your household cleaning products this year? MamaSuds would like to help! The best way is to simply start with one product. Every time you run out of a specific cleaning product, replace it with a non-toxic one. Another tip, purchase a product that has multiple uses. The MamaSuds Collection has many multiple use products (castile soap or the toilet bombs are just a few!). Their blog has lots of great tips and a castile soap recipe that you can print and make a lot of your own effective cleaners! Give them a try at www.mamasuds.com and don’t forget to use the coupon code MOLLY for 15% off your order! 

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I’d like to thank my dad for everything he taught me about exterior illumination.

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I’d like to thank my dad for everything he taught me about exterior illumination.

Help me pick a new headshot! After almost 6 years I finally got updated headshots and one gets to go on the back of my book! I’m very indecisive so help me pick, if you are so inclined.

Shoutout to the amazing @stellaandbirdiephotography for the new pics and to @kns.ellis for her makeup magic. #authorphotos #headshots

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Help me pick a new headshot! After almost 6 years I finally got updated headshots and one gets to go on the back of my book! I’m very indecisive so help me pick, if you are so inclined. 

Shoutout to the amazing @stellaandbirdiephotography for the new pics and to @kns.ellis for her makeup magic. #authorphotos #headshots

Here are a few things I know to be true:
👉🏼 we can be having the time of our lives while also experiencing great disappointments
👉🏼 we can laugh so hard our stomachs hurt while in the depths of grief
👉🏼 we can feel confident in the work (or art) we’ve created while also fighting the battle of imposter syndrome
👉🏼 we can feel grateful for the life we are living while also lamenting that which we’ve lost
👉🏼 we can lament the life we are living while being grateful for where we’ve come from
👉🏼 we can document a really fantastic hair day and then also document the horrors of how we feel when we have the stomach bug (swipe for a real life example) 🤣

The beauty and brutality of life is in the both / and, not the either / or. And if we are blessed to live long enough, we will experience all those things and so much more.

What both / and are you sitting in today?

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Here are a few things I know to be true:
👉🏼 we can be having the time of our lives while also experiencing great disappointments
👉🏼 we can laugh so hard our stomachs hurt while in the depths of grief
👉🏼 we can feel confident in the work (or art) we’ve created while also fighting the battle of imposter syndrome
👉🏼 we can feel grateful for the life we are living while also lamenting that which we’ve lost
👉🏼 we can lament the life we are living while being grateful for where we’ve come from
👉🏼 we can document a really fantastic hair day and then also document the horrors of how we feel when we have the stomach bug (swipe for a real life example) 🤣

The beauty and brutality of life is in the both / and, not the either / or. And if we are blessed to live long enough, we will experience all those things and so much more. 

What both / and are you sitting in today?

Selah Farm Thanksgiving 2023 ✅
Carrying on the tradition my parents started so many decades ago. Love breaking bread with family, friends, strangers, international students, and more. Missing some family today, but feeling thankful. 🧡

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Selah Farm Thanksgiving 2023 ✅ 
Carrying on the tradition my parents started so many decades ago. Love breaking bread with family, friends, strangers, international students, and more. Missing some family today, but feeling thankful. 🧡

I thank God every single day that social media didn’t exist in 2003. #highschoolthenandnow

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I thank God every single day that social media didn’t exist in 2003. #highschoolthenandnow

She’s been gone 21 years, but it feels like I blinked.

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She’s been gone 21 years, but it feels like I blinked.

God is in the details.

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God is in the details.

Happy 30th Anniversary to the Vietnam Women’s Memorial! What an incredible day with incredible veteran friends. I pray that I was able to honor my mom 🇺🇸 She should have been here. ❤️

Happy Veteran’s Day to all who have so selflessly served. ❤️

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Happy 30th Anniversary to the Vietnam Women’s Memorial! What an incredible day with incredible veteran friends. I pray that I was able to honor my mom 🇺🇸 She should have been here. ❤️

Happy Veteran’s Day to all who have so selflessly served. ❤️

Today was so special. I had the privilege of representing my mom as she was posthumously honored (among six other incredible women veterans) at the Military Women’s Memorial at Arlington National Cemetery @womensmemorial. I was able to reconnect with and hug so many dear sister and brother Vietnam veterans that I hadn’t seen in a few decades. We hugged, laughed, and cried as we shared stories.

We ended the night with a candlelight ceremony at the Vietnam Veteran’s Women’s Memorial. And to answer your question, no.. I can’t get through listening to taps while I watch as a bunch of retired Veterans salute. 😭

This weekend, instead of taking advantage of mattress sales, thank a veteran for his or her service. 🇺🇸 #veteransday🇺🇸

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Today was so special. I had the privilege of representing my mom as she was posthumously honored (among six other incredible women veterans) at the Military Women’s Memorial at Arlington National Cemetery @womensmemorial. I was able to reconnect with and hug so many dear sister and brother Vietnam veterans that I hadn’t seen in a few decades. We hugged, laughed, and cried as we shared stories.

We ended the night with a candlelight ceremony at the Vietnam Veteran’s Women’s Memorial. And to answer your question, no.. I can’t get through listening to taps while I watch as a bunch of retired Veterans salute. 😭

This weekend, instead of taking advantage of mattress sales, thank a veteran for his or her service. 🇺🇸 #veteransday🇺🇸

My once in a decade “visiting where I grew up” photo dump 👉🏼

1️⃣ where I carved my name in the cement of the sidewalks I lobbied the town council for when I was 8
2️⃣ in front of my childhood home
3️⃣ on my sidewalks. Yes. They are mine. I put them there.
4️⃣ crying in front of the abandoned Tortilla Factory. May it rest in peace.
5️⃣ peering in the windows of the Tortilla Factory - the back room where the Tuesday night Folk Club met every week. Literally hasn’t changed in the 12 years it’s been closed.
6️⃣ downtown Herndon
7️⃣ at the Veteran’s memorial in downtown Herndon that my mom helped to dedicate when it was established.
8️⃣ visiting grandma
9️⃣ with my mama

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My once in a decade “visiting where I grew up” photo dump 👉🏼

1️⃣ where I carved my name in the cement of the sidewalks I lobbied the town council for when I was 8
2️⃣ in front of my childhood home
3️⃣ on my sidewalks. Yes. They are mine. I put them there. 
4️⃣ crying in front of the abandoned Tortilla Factory. May it rest in peace. 
5️⃣ peering in the windows of the Tortilla Factory - the back room where the Tuesday night Folk Club met every week. Literally hasn’t changed in the 12 years it’s been closed. 
6️⃣ downtown Herndon
7️⃣ at the Veteran’s memorial in downtown Herndon that my mom helped to dedicate when it was established. 
8️⃣ visiting grandma
9️⃣ with my mama
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