Current Feels

I had an entirely different post planned for today and as I sat down to put the finishing touches on it, it just didn’t feel right. 

My mind isn’t really in a place, quite honestly, to talk about things other than, quite literally, what is on my mind. 

I leave for Kenya on Sunday. This will be my third time going and yet, I feel like I’ve never been. This is my first time going since my kids were born and I feel so many emotions that I truly can’t even begin to describe to you. 

I feel excitement, I feel nervous, I feel anxious, I feel hopeful, I feel empowered, I feel encouraged, I feel stressed, I feel… I feel… I feel… I feel.

I mentioned in my post on Monday that this trip has been a bit of a whirlwind and something that, even as recent as a couple of weeks ago, wasn’t fully set in stone. When the opportunity first came about to go back and work on a few particular projects, I started praying immediately and asking God to show me, tell me, that this was what He wanted me to do.

And even as there were things in this “world” that kept telling me I was nuts to go, I kept hearing that still small voice say, “Go. I am sending you.” 

Trust me, I’m excited. I’m honored. I feel privileged. I feel so grateful that I am able to do this. But it is not going to be easy. Nothing about this trip is going to be easy. But God didn’t call us to do “easy.” God called us to change the world – in big ways and in small ways. He has called us to be His hands and feet. So often we hear and see stories of hardship and poverty and devastation and slavery and we say, “How could God let that happen? How could He allow this to continue? He should do something!” 

And the fact is… He did. He created you. He created me. Instead of sitting back and saying how awful something is, it’s time we actually start to just DO SOMETHING about the things that we see that we want to change. Quit complaining. Quit settling. 

My “life” verse is 1 Peter 4:10. You see it at the bottom of my blog posts, my email signature, it’s on my license plate, I wear it on jewelry, I have it plastered everywhere I can see it….

Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.

Let’s break that down…

Each of you…

That means you. That means me. That means all of us. Every single last one… Not just me. Not just you. Not just that guy over there. All of us…

Should use whatever gift you have received…

Whether you are aware of it or not, you have received a gift. You have a gift. Maybe it’s a gift of encouragement, maybe it’s a gift of organization, maybe it’s a gift of singing, maybe it’s a gift of financial blessings, maybe it’s a gift of teaching, maybe it’s a gift of leading, maybe it’s a gift of writing… I don’t know what your gifting is… but each one of us has a gifting that was given to us. Sometimes it’s hard to identify what that gift is or sometimes we may feel like we’re not worthy or capable of utilizing that gift for whatever reason. Regardless, we all have a gift that has been given to us and it is up to us to use it. We’ve also received the gift of grace. Grace, upon grace, upon grace. Every. Last. One of us.

To serve others…

When we serve others, especially with our gifting, we are doing what we are called to do. We are called to serve. Even if you’re not a Christian… even if you don’t believe in God, you can agree that life is best lived when it’s lived for others. Selfish people are people no one wants to be around. But selfLESS people are the type of people we want to lean on. 

As faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms…

God’s grace is abundant and it is overflowing. I am so undeserving and I’m reminded of that daily. I have received grace upon grace upon grace. I receive grace in the way my husband looks at me in the morning when I haven’t brushed my teeth or my hair, yet he loves me so completely. I have received grace when Lilly hugs me and tells me she loves me, even after I’ve just snapped at her for the 30th time that day. I receive grace every night when I lay my head down on a comfy pillow in a comfy bed in a temperature controlled house with clothing on my back. I receive grace when I have food to eat and a car to drive and friends to laugh and cry with and family to celebrate with… and the list goes on. God is so good to me and His grace is so abundant and overflowing in my life and I’m so undeserving. 

So what am I to do? How am I to respond?

I am to be a faithful steward of that grace… in all of it’s forms. I’m to serve others with my gifts… I’m to show grace (even when it’s tough). I’m called to be a faithful steward of God’s grace… because that is what has been given to me.

 

So, as I prepare to go back to a country I love and cherish so dearly to, prayerfully, serve and bring glory to One and Only… it’s my humble request that you be in prayer with me…

Here are some things you can pray for:

• Pray for safe travels for our small, but mighty team 
• Pray that we don’t encounter any trouble along the way
• Pray for safety in country
• Pray that our time there is efficient, organized, effective, and that we are able to achieve what we set out to do while there. 
• Pray for the women of Mercy House, pray for the men and women of Street Hope, pray for the Kenyans that we will meet and interact with.
• Pray for my family while I’m gone 
• Pray for my own personal anxiety, that it would be eased and that I would feel confident and focused while I’m gone
• And ultimately, pray that God be glorified through this all. This trip is all for Him. It’s not about me. Not even one tiny bit… and if for any moment that I think this trip is about me, remind me that it’s not and that I am just following a greater calling from the One who has called me.

And thank you.

Thank you for your emails and comments and words of encouragement. They really mean the world to me. Thank you for being the best community. 

Depending on my internet situation there, my plan is to update you guys while I’m there with what I’m doing each day. I will have some other posts waiting “in the wings,” just in case… but I’m sort of taking things one day at a time. 

Definitely look out for updates on Instagram and Facebook!! If anything, I should be able to update there!

Thank you again… I love you guys. To God be the glory.