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Still Being Molly

How to Navigate Life’s Big and Small Losses with Chuck & Ashley Elliott | Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast EP: 361

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  • How to Navigate Life’s Big and Small Losses with Chuck & Ashley Elliott | Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast EP: 361
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Today I am thrilled to be joined by Chuck and Ashley Elliott, content creators who you may recognize from platforms such as YouVersion or RightNow Media. Beyond their online presence, Chuck is a pastor at Bethel Church in Evansville, Indiana, while Ashley serves as a licensed counselor.

Recently, Chuck and Ashley co-authored a transformative book titled I Used to Be ____. Life can take unexpected turns, and when you find yourself grappling with loss- whether it’s the loss of a relationship, a job, a sense of security, or an identity- you enter the realm of “used to be.” It’s a space that can feel stifling, leaving you trapped in memories of what once was. But Chuck and Ashley are here to remind you that while it’s natural to dwell in this space for a while, it’s not where you’re meant to stay.

This episode dives deep into the heart of grief and the path to healing. This is such a powerful conversation that I am so excited to share.

4:39 – Chuck and Ashley 101

  • Meeting at Lee University
  • Finding their love for ministry together
  • The story behind I Used To Be _____

11:56 – Experiencing grief

  • Grief is not linear
  • Everyone’s journey is unique
  • What does God want for us?

27:33 – There is hope

  • God does not want us to stay stuck in these places
  • The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
  • God is worth the sacrifice

38:00 – What God teaches through suffering

  • Through suffering and grief, God can do his best work
  • John 3:30

47:47 – Navigating seasons of loss

  • Acknowledge big and small losses
  • Breathe and be patient with yourself
  • The complex interplay between grief and joy

47:47 – Supporting those in grief

  • Find creative ways to offer support
  • Don’t feel like you have to say the perfect thing
  • Be present

FEATURED QUOTES

Don’t feel like you have to say the perfect thing because there is no perfect thing to say. When you show up, you don’t have to say something to take away their pain.

Give yourself permission to take care of yourself. When you don’t feel like you’re okay, tell someone you don’t feel okay.

You can be joyful and grieving at the same time. You can laugh and cry at the same time.

https://www.chuckandashley.com/

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Help me pick a new headshot! After almost 6 years I finally got updated headshots and one gets to go on the back of my book! I’m very indecisive so help me pick, if you are so inclined.

Shoutout to the amazing @stellaandbirdiephotography for the new pics and to @kns.ellis for her makeup magic. #authorphotos #headshots

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Help me pick a new headshot! After almost 6 years I finally got updated headshots and one gets to go on the back of my book! I’m very indecisive so help me pick, if you are so inclined. 

Shoutout to the amazing @stellaandbirdiephotography for the new pics and to @kns.ellis for her makeup magic. #authorphotos #headshots

Here are a few things I know to be true:
👉🏼 we can be having the time of our lives while also experiencing great disappointments
👉🏼 we can laugh so hard our stomachs hurt while in the depths of grief
👉🏼 we can feel confident in the work (or art) we’ve created while also fighting the battle of imposter syndrome
👉🏼 we can feel grateful for the life we are living while also lamenting that which we’ve lost
👉🏼 we can lament the life we are living while being grateful for where we’ve come from
👉🏼 we can document a really fantastic hair day and then also document the horrors of how we feel when we have the stomach bug (swipe for a real life example) 🤣

The beauty and brutality of life is in the both / and, not the either / or. And if we are blessed to live long enough, we will experience all those things and so much more.

What both / and are you sitting in today?

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Here are a few things I know to be true:
👉🏼 we can be having the time of our lives while also experiencing great disappointments
👉🏼 we can laugh so hard our stomachs hurt while in the depths of grief
👉🏼 we can feel confident in the work (or art) we’ve created while also fighting the battle of imposter syndrome
👉🏼 we can feel grateful for the life we are living while also lamenting that which we’ve lost
👉🏼 we can lament the life we are living while being grateful for where we’ve come from
👉🏼 we can document a really fantastic hair day and then also document the horrors of how we feel when we have the stomach bug (swipe for a real life example) 🤣

The beauty and brutality of life is in the both / and, not the either / or. And if we are blessed to live long enough, we will experience all those things and so much more. 

What both / and are you sitting in today?

Selah Farm Thanksgiving 2023 ✅
Carrying on the tradition my parents started so many decades ago. Love breaking bread with family, friends, strangers, international students, and more. Missing some family today, but feeling thankful. 🧡

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Selah Farm Thanksgiving 2023 ✅ 
Carrying on the tradition my parents started so many decades ago. Love breaking bread with family, friends, strangers, international students, and more. Missing some family today, but feeling thankful. 🧡

I thank God every single day that social media didn’t exist in 2003. #highschoolthenandnow

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I thank God every single day that social media didn’t exist in 2003. #highschoolthenandnow

She’s been gone 21 years, but it feels like I blinked.

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She’s been gone 21 years, but it feels like I blinked.

God is in the details.

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God is in the details.

Happy 30th Anniversary to the Vietnam Women’s Memorial! What an incredible day with incredible veteran friends. I pray that I was able to honor my mom 🇺🇸 She should have been here. ❤️

Happy Veteran’s Day to all who have so selflessly served. ❤️

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Happy 30th Anniversary to the Vietnam Women’s Memorial! What an incredible day with incredible veteran friends. I pray that I was able to honor my mom 🇺🇸 She should have been here. ❤️

Happy Veteran’s Day to all who have so selflessly served. ❤️

Today was so special. I had the privilege of representing my mom as she was posthumously honored (among six other incredible women veterans) at the Military Women’s Memorial at Arlington National Cemetery @womensmemorial. I was able to reconnect with and hug so many dear sister and brother Vietnam veterans that I hadn’t seen in a few decades. We hugged, laughed, and cried as we shared stories.

We ended the night with a candlelight ceremony at the Vietnam Veteran’s Women’s Memorial. And to answer your question, no.. I can’t get through listening to taps while I watch as a bunch of retired Veterans salute. 😭

This weekend, instead of taking advantage of mattress sales, thank a veteran for his or her service. 🇺🇸 #veteransday🇺🇸

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Today was so special. I had the privilege of representing my mom as she was posthumously honored (among six other incredible women veterans) at the Military Women’s Memorial at Arlington National Cemetery @womensmemorial. I was able to reconnect with and hug so many dear sister and brother Vietnam veterans that I hadn’t seen in a few decades. We hugged, laughed, and cried as we shared stories.

We ended the night with a candlelight ceremony at the Vietnam Veteran’s Women’s Memorial. And to answer your question, no.. I can’t get through listening to taps while I watch as a bunch of retired Veterans salute. 😭

This weekend, instead of taking advantage of mattress sales, thank a veteran for his or her service. 🇺🇸 #veteransday🇺🇸

My once in a decade “visiting where I grew up” photo dump 👉🏼

1️⃣ where I carved my name in the cement of the sidewalks I lobbied the town council for when I was 8
2️⃣ in front of my childhood home
3️⃣ on my sidewalks. Yes. They are mine. I put them there.
4️⃣ crying in front of the abandoned Tortilla Factory. May it rest in peace.
5️⃣ peering in the windows of the Tortilla Factory - the back room where the Tuesday night Folk Club met every week. Literally hasn’t changed in the 12 years it’s been closed.
6️⃣ downtown Herndon
7️⃣ at the Veteran’s memorial in downtown Herndon that my mom helped to dedicate when it was established.
8️⃣ visiting grandma
9️⃣ with my mama

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My once in a decade “visiting where I grew up” photo dump 👉🏼

1️⃣ where I carved my name in the cement of the sidewalks I lobbied the town council for when I was 8
2️⃣ in front of my childhood home
3️⃣ on my sidewalks. Yes. They are mine. I put them there. 
4️⃣ crying in front of the abandoned Tortilla Factory. May it rest in peace. 
5️⃣ peering in the windows of the Tortilla Factory - the back room where the Tuesday night Folk Club met every week. Literally hasn’t changed in the 12 years it’s been closed. 
6️⃣ downtown Herndon
7️⃣ at the Veteran’s memorial in downtown Herndon that my mom helped to dedicate when it was established. 
8️⃣ visiting grandma
9️⃣ with my mama

👇🏼SHARE IN THE COMMENTS: what or who are you grateful for? Tag them and tell them why! 🩵 #countyourblessings #countingmyblessings

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👇🏼SHARE IN THE COMMENTS: what or who are you grateful for? Tag them and tell them why! 🩵 #countyourblessings #countingmyblessings
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