My Proverbial Foot in Mouth.

February 12, 2009·

So, as a comedian, I have a tendency to try and crack a joke or throw in a little quip or “funny” at the most inopportune times. This has happened on multiple occasions. Often times it is something incredibly inappropriate which causes me to immediately retreat (mentally) and say to myself, “REALLY?! You just said that? You’re going to hell.” [ONLY after preparing my “post-rapture post” letters, of course.]

Inevitably, something like this happened this past Monday. I was shooting an industrial commercial for Armor laptops.

Computer in Shining Armor.
Computer in Shining Armor.

(Those are the laptops you can drop, kick, drop kick, or throw off a building and they’ll still work).

Well, the filming location was at the Luck Stone rock quarry in Goochland, Virginia (about 40 minutes away from my house in downtown Richmond). I get on location a bit early and wait in a small office. The other actors arrive along with the crew.

Mind you, it is 7:30am (which is normally when I am already at work), so folks are a bit tired and REAL quiet. Now, being a comedian, silence is tough, especially that early in the morning. Therefore, I am supposed to, nay, OBLIGATED to fill it.

As the director hands out paperwork for us to fill out (you know, so we can get paid), he hands me my form and says, “Just find a hard surface to write on.

Without a hitch, I respond with, “Like my abs?

The entire room stops and everyone looks at me.

Do I stop there? Nope. I continue to try and justify my idiocy. “Well, I have rock hard abs. Am I right? You know? Cause we’re at a rock quarry. It’s a pun.

No one laughed. So I ask, “Too early for jokes?” Someone muttered, “Nope, it’s just too early for bad ones.

PUN FAIL.

**Want to hear more stories about epic comment fails I have made? Let me know. Some are PRETTY bad.