Below is the generic cover letter than I am generically submitting to all famous people, politicos, and celebrities who are looking for a ghost-tweeter on Twitter.
Dear Famous Person:
I am contacting you in regards to the position of “Famous-Person-Ghost-Tweeter” that you advertised in Life. No, not the magazine. Life, as in what we are all experiencing at this very moment. I feel that I am extremely qualified to fill the position of your ghost tweeter.
My qualifications include: experienced tweeter, pop culture expert, eating burritos on-the-go, crafting one-liners on command, relevant @replier, guru, master of wording smart/witty/intelligent phrases, and doing the paparazzi’s job for them in 140 characters or less. I know how to make your tweets sound intellectual, honest, and legit–without being too overbearing for your followers. Oh, and I am REALLY good at including irrelevant # marks when necessary.
For example, if I were to tweet for @THE_REAL_SHAQ, I would probably include a quip or two about being tall or dominating people on and off the court. Or, if I were to tweet for @britneyspears, I would talk about my sons, my new haircut, rock and roll, or say “ya’ll” a lot.
No twisearch (twitter-research) necessary, or perhaps twisearch necessary. Regardless, I would cater your tweets to your tweeds (twitter-needs). You would have so many followers that Twitter would be officially TWNED (twitter-pwned).
I would really like the opportunity for a personal interview. You would be able to see and experience first-hand my outgoing personality and can-do, go-getter attitude; all of which are qualities VITAL to being a successful famous-person-ghost-tweeter. I look forward to being interviewed at your earliest convenience. I would even let you take me to a fancy five-star lunch at no-cost to me. You may contact me at mollybuckley[at]yahoo[dot]com. Thank you so much for your twime and twinsideration (time and consideration, get it? It’s twitter-language).
Well, here’s hoping!
All for now.