The Day My Burrito Almost Died.

April 24, 2009·

It was a Monday. No, a Tuesday. I was hungry. My mouth was watering, as usual. I had a craving, nay, a desire. There was only one thing that would quench my hunger: CHIPOTLE.

Meat + Cheese + Salsa + Tortilla = HEAVEN.
Meat + Cheese + Salsa + Tortilla = HEAVEN.

This day was a burrito day (as opposed to a burrito bol day). My weapon of choice? A steak burrito with rice, pinto beans, hot & medium salsa, sour cream, lettuce, and as much cheese as humanly possible. Oh, the cheese. I went to my usual Chipotle location a la Willow Lawn. “A,” the manager, was unusually happy today. We made our exchanges, and I went to pay.

Money is tight right now, but that $6.35 + a cup for water (but I fill it with Diet Coke, sometimes. I’m not a crook.) was well worth it. My hunger and pining for “The Chip” was almost a life or death situation. Little did I know that my notion would soon be truer than I would have ever liked it to be.

I got my burrito “TO-GO” because I had a lot of work to do at home. I carried it out to my car, salivary glands still teeming. I got in my 2007 VW Rabbit, placed my beloved burrito ever-so-gently on the passenger’s seat, and started the car, anxious to dig in to my delicious treat. I left the parking lot, naive to the grave reality ahead of me. It’s 5:15, on a Tuesday, in Richmond, Virginia. I have to drive on Interstate 95. There will be traffic.

As I merged onto the highway, an acoustic Dave Matthews set blaring from my stereo, I believe it was “Grey Street” LIVE from Piedmont Park, I dreamt of what would be happening in 7.45 minutes. And dreading the subsequent work I would be completing thereafter.

SUDDENLY, it happened. The car in front of me decided, at the last minute, to cross over four lanes of traffic, AT 5:15 ON A TUESDAY, because the exit he wanted was on the right, and he, of course, was on the left. Oh, MY BAD, MISTER BMW. I FORGOT YOU OWNED THE ROAD! BY ALL MEANS, CUT US OFF. Oh, no sir, no need to thank us, it was OUR PLEASURE.

THIS is the act of moming in case you were wondering.
THIS is the act of "mom'ing" in case you were wondering.

I had to think fast. My mind was racing. As my foot slammed the break to the floor I could think of nothing but the burrito sitting so sweetly on the passenger’s seat next to me. I did what was instinctual of any burrito lover, I “mom’ed” my burrito. As the car that so rudely cut me off exited to the right, and when I realized I was safe, I realized that my instinct, my arm, my “mom’ing,” saved $6.35+water/Diet Coke cup, and of course, my burrito. PHEW! What a relief!

I don’t think that if impact had occured that my airbag would have been enough. Yes, my motherly instincts saved my hunger.

6 minutes later I was home and eating my burrito.

And a burrito whose life has just been saved, tastes better than any other burrito I have ever had. Trust me. I would know.

All for now.