A Letter to My 14-Year-Old Self
In case you’re wondering, this post is from a #NaBloPoMo prompt. 30 days of blogging daily and inspired writing.
Below is a picture of me at 14-years-old. It is also the only picture of me with the only fish I’ve ever caught. This fish took me three days of camping to catch. Everyone else caught bass, trout, and other BIG fish. Me? I caught a freaking minnow.
Dear 14-year-old Molly,
This is you. I am you, really. I’m the 27-year-old version of you. Weird, I’m aware. I’ll prove it’s me by telling you that it’s okay that you eat Tortilla Factory every day (often in secret) – get it in while you can. The Tortilla Factory will eventually will close a few days after your wedding when you haven’t eaten there in years making the close that much more difficult on you. Oh, and you’ll also find out that it closed when you’re on your honeymoon in Mexico rendering it impossible to eat there one last time.
Moving on.
Look, I know this may not mean much coming from me now, but now that I’ve had the chance to look back, there are a couple things I need you me to know – or at least, I need you me to know I’ve realized:
1. You’re gorgeous, skinny, and way smarter than you give yourself credit for. I know that group of boys (and girls) have you convinced otherwise. I know they’re mean and I know they make you feel about as important as that minnow on a daily basis. But they’re wrong. Very wrong. Trust me.
When you get to this age and you look back on how awesome you looked, you will beg to be that small and have skin that clear. Sadly, I wish I could say your insecurities are over after 14, but they’re not. However, things do get better. A lot better. Technically, I guess you could say they get worse before they get better, but they do get better. Way, way, way better. 27 is an awesome age. You have a lot to look forward to.
Also, those boys (and girls) who have tormented for so long? Well, J and A are in prison, K dropped out of school, and C, L, M, and R all had babies before they were married. I also believe that M is a manager at a Golden Corral. And today, you pray for them often. And sincerely.
So, they’ve got that going for them.
2. Get rid of that boy. You know exactly who I’m talking about. He does absolutely nothing for you, treats you exactly the opposite of how you should be treated, and will eventually hurt you. Badly. Get rid of him now. Know that the rest of the boys you encounter between then and now will all do the same thing. However, keep an eye out for that boy you meet at 24. He’s a good one. A really good one. And becomes the best one. And daily, he becomes even better than he was the day before.
And you deserve him. Never forget that. And he deserves you, and you’ll always remind him of that. 🙂
3. Stop rolling your eyes at mom and spend more time with her. You know this in your heart at the time: mom’s gonna die. And in just a few years from then. So spend more time with her. Brush her hair, let her take you shopping (and don’t roll your eyes when she gets her scooter caught on the clothing racks), watch her soap operas with her, but this time just do a mother daughter camping trip, take her to the NSYNC concert and tell her she looks beautiful in her glitter top and pleather pants, hold her hand, cuddle with her, make her dinner, and let her and dad go on dates. Lots of them. So many dates.
And stop being grossed out when they kiss in front of you or talk about you-know-what. You’ll cherish those memories one day.
But seriously, spend time with her and take her in. All of her. Memorize what her voice sounds like, what her laugh sounds like, what it feels like to have her tickle your feet or play with your hair, what her favorite foods are, what her favorite song is, and what her favorite book is. Memorize it all. Because it’ll be really hard to remember those things at 27.
Oh, and take pictures with her. Lots of them. So many pictures. Because you don’t have a lot of those now, and you wish you did.
4. Love those people more. You know who I’m talking about – your dad, your sister, and your girls. Your dad and sister? They’re still here and you love them so much – but you need to love them more then. And let them know.
Those girls? A few of them are still around and you love them so much, but you’ve lost touch with a few of them and it makes you sad when you think about it. Petty arguments and dramatic teenagers are the worst. Eventually you’ll grow up and realize this that those things just aren’t that important.
Molly, there’s probably a whole lot more I could say to you at 14. But I won’t. Because honestly, the rest of it is all learning experiences. You’ll make a TON of mistakes and fixing your mistakes sucks, but it’s important.
But those four things I mentioned? Those are the most important. And often, I wish there was something I could do to change them for you. But then I remember it’s probably better it all happened how it did – because it made you who you are. And you like who you are now. A lot.
You’ve got a lot to look forward to, so keep your chin up, Bucks.
Love,
Me.
This is a fabulous post. Not gonna lie, it made me tear up!!! I also had a rough time with some folks in school and so a lot of what you wrote hit close to home. Thank you for sharing this!!!
aw thank you so much, jamie. seriously. thank you <3
This post made my heart sink. I am so sorry that you lost your mom. Reading this however makes me so, so grateful that my own mother is a live and well. But the things you talked about missing from your mother like her laugh are things I will try to take note of in my own mother. How easy it is for us to take these things for granted. You are so strong and so inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Myah
hey myah – thank you so much for your sweet comment. you know it’s okay – of course i miss my mom, but she was sick for a long time and she’s in a much better place. so glad my story inspired you! thank you!!
Amazing Post!!!!
thank you so much, crystal!
this truly brought a tear to my eye. especially the part about loving and respecting your mother and family more because i worry about the day my daughter will be 14. i worry because of most of the stuff you mentioned. thank you for sharing. really sweet & beautiful
thank you so much for your sweet comment, julie!
Molly, this was such an amazing letter. In writing one to myself I would have touched on many of the same things as you did, especially the bit about your mom, because when I was a teenager I didn’t give my mom the time of day. I regret wasting all of those years we didn’t get to spend together now but am thankful that she’s my best friend today. I really enjoyed reading this, you are so amazing!
Stephanie
stephanie thank you so much for your sweet comment. i can’t wait to read your letter!
Love. this. post. I really makes you think back, doesn’t it? You are fabulous Molly…
it totally does! thank you so much for your sweet comment <3
This was beautiful, thanks so much for sharing!
thank you so much for reading! 🙂
Molly, I love you so much, girl! Thoughtful, insightful and all so true. 🙂
thank you so much, bonnie!! love you!
Oh Molly Dear
You might be a young woman but you have an insight and wisdom beyond your years.. I am old enough to be your mother and yet you have taught me something.
Continue to walk (and word) with Jesus – he is working wonders with you and developing a wonderful woman and human being. God bless you.
wow, patti. thank you so much for your thoughtful and encouraging comment! you blessed me!
So beautiful, Molly!
thank you so much, joanna!
This is so sweet! I know there is a lot I could tell myself if I could go back.
Helen
Blue Eyed Beauty Blog
absolutely!! we learn so much as we get older 🙂
Yes we do!
Helen
Blue Eyed Beauty Blog
molly its 10:33 on a saturday night and I’m crying in front of my computer after reading this….you are such an amazing person BECAUSE of all of those experiences you have been through. I am seriously honored to be called your friend 🙂
brooke @ what2wear
love you, friend <3 thank you!
Wow. You made me cry, too. That was really sweet. 🙂 I wonder what would happen if I wrote a letter to my 14-year-old self that could actually be delivered.
Dear Alysha,
You won’t really speak to any of these “school friends” in the future, and it’s okay – they’re not really your friends. You parents are still fine and happy, and you’re kind of their favorite now since your sister got knocked up twice before finally getting married to the dad. Your mom has another boy when you’re a senior and your teachers will think he’s yours. He turns into a real brat, so enjoy him while you can. Your other brother is a pain, too. You’ll meet an amazing guy in about a year. You’re going to marry him, so don’t panic too much when his mom goes crazy on you. You will never stop loving him. You’ll stay with a different guy for about eight years while he lies and cheats on you, but in the end, that boy from when you were 15 will show up to save you from yourself. Right now, your life is better than it has ever been, but you went through a lot of hell to get here. Don’t be scared when it looks like you won’t make it through.
Sincerely,
You
Whew… I had to stop crying before I could type up a comment for you. Just beautiful, beautiful writing here. I’m loving seeing the writing prompts you are choosing and I definitely think I am going to have to link back to this post and write my own letter to a 14-year-old Katie.
Thank you for sharing such a touching, heartfelt post!
oh katie thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. i can’t wait to read your post!
Great post! There are so many things I wish I could say to my 14-year-old self. Back then I was sooo incredibly insecure. I can really relate to a lot of the things in your post, because several of them are what I would say to myself!
thank you so much, ky!! i think it’s one of those things that we ALL experienced a little bit 🙂
This is so touching. I often think about what I would say to my teenage self. Perhaps this would be a good month to write it out. Beautiful job, Molly. I think you said it very well.
thank you so much, kallay! you should absolutely do the exercise – it was really therapeutic for me!
Molly, this was so amazing! I can really relate to the part about your mom and the photos. Mine hates having her photo taken and I always worry we will never have those photos to look back on. I loved reading this, I almost teared up!
thank you so much, rachel!! definitely get those photos <3
Gosh, Molly, this was beautiful…just beautiful. I just about lost it.
thank you, emily <3
Oh Molly, oh Molly. This is my favorite post ever. So beautiful and so true.
Thank you so much, Elise! Seriously. Thank you.
Beautiful letter, Molly! I can totally relate to all of them! Especially the mom one. I’d get so embarrassed by everything and always rolled my eyes. I hope I remember/expect that someday when I’m a momma and she rolls her eyes 😉
thank you so much, beth. i try to remind myself of that all the time so that i don’t forget when i’m a mom someday <3
Hmm… it’s dusty in my apartment today. Definitely a bit dusty… 🙂
Seriously, though, it’s the last part of the blog that everyone should take away — it’s who you were that makes you who you are. Kind of a good thing we don’t actually have time travel… I know in my case, I’d probably make a bigger mess “fixing” my past… 🙂
If this is just Day 3 of NaBloPoMo, I’m looking forward to the next 27…
🙂 🙂 ALL THE DUST!!
but seriously, thank you for your thoughtful comment, Rob. it’s definitely a lot of those things that i hated then that i realize now were some of the most important things i went through. you know?
thanks, rob!