all photos in this post by Katie Nesbitt Photography

Date: August 7th, 2013

Dear Sweet Baby Stillman (aka: “Embry”),

I’m sitting here, it’s 2:01am on the morning of your due date.

I never thought this day would come. It has seemed to take forever to get here, yet the time has gone by so fast. It’s this really weird feeling that I’m not quite sure how to articulate.
It’s one of those feelings that I know is only going to get worse once I meet you – the feeling of time both coming to a stand still, yet completely flashing before my eyes.

So, I thought it would only be appropriate to write you a letter, that you may or may not ever actually read. Because, well, why not? What else do you do at 2am?

First, I want you to know how much your daddy and I love you already. (I also have to let you know how weird that sounds to me right now. Your daddy and I. That phrase just sounds strange, but I know we’ll get used to it.) Sure, we may not know yet if you’re a boy or a girl, but we love you. We know we do. So much.
The way you rock and roll in my belly all day and night? We love it.

The way you were such a little rule breaker already and tried to see if you could hang out in my belly the wrong way? We love it.

The way you are already late for everything? I love it. Your dad doesn’t love it. Wait, I lied. I don’t love it.

But I love you. We love you.

I love how your personality is already making itself very well known and you haven’t even breathed a breath of oxygen yet.

Second, I want you to know how much your daddy and I pray for you. We pray for you every single day. We pray for you to grow up healthy and strong. We pray that you know how much you are loved. We pray for you to learn to love and serve others. We pray that you laugh all the time (which I know is going to be very easy to do in our house). And most of all, we pray that you grow in your faith and that you know the Lord and how much He delights in you.

Ultimately, we pray that while you are ours here on this earth, we hope you know that you have a Father in heaven who loves you more than we ever could (and we love you a lot… so that just goes to show how much your heavenly Father loves you).

Now, thirdly, I want you to know a little about your daddy. He is the best daddy you could ever ask for. How do I know this? Because he is the best husband I could have ever dreamed of. He has shown me over these past nine months with you in my belly what it means to REALLY love unconditionally… for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.

He has served me in ways I didn’t even know were possible. He has told me I’m beautiful on days I feel far from beautiful. He has held my hand, helped me out of bed, driven to the store to get me ice cream, and prayed for me – and never once complained. About anything.

I can’t put into words how much I love your daddy and how much he means to me. I want you to know, that while I love you so much and I will always love you, I will always love your daddy first.

Our marriage is our priority and our love for each other comes first… because that is what is best for you, sweet baby.

We want you to know that your mommy and daddy love Christ and love each other more than anything.

We also plan on totally grossing you out on a regular basis by kissing as much as possible in front of you.You will just have to deal with it.

But seriously, your daddy has worked so hard on your nursery and prepping the house for you. He has absolutely blown me away and I know that he is going to continue to do the same (and then some) once you’re here.

Fourthly, I plan on never telling you that I’m sorry for the amount of pictures that will be taken of you in your early life. I love being behind a camera and I love you. So, naturally, there will be a ton of pictures of you.

You will just have to deal with it.

Now, fifthly, let me tell you about the rest of your family. Tom and Bonnie, Bridgid, Bob, and Kyle, John and Gretta… they love you. So much. And you’ll love them (mostly because they’ll probably spoil you to death). They’re hilarious, they’re silly, and they’re totally weird. But that’s okay, because they’re family. And I’m way weirder, sillier, and more hilarious than they are… so you will just have to deal with it. 🙂

I also want to tell you about Lynda. She was my mommy. You won’t get to meet her, but I know that she would love you, too. She was the best mommy there ever was and I’m going to do my darndest to be half the mommy she was. Because if I’m half the mommy she was, I’ll be doing a pretty dang good job. We call you “Embry” right now because that’s what she called me when she was pregnant with me. My mommy and daddy didn’t know if I was a boy or girl till I was born either. The little red “We <3 Embry” sign? Yeah, my mommy made that when she was pregnant with me… well, I still have it and so I’m using it, too.
Oh, and when you’re a teenager and it’s no longer cool to hug or kiss your mom (especially in public), I’ll understand. I won’t like it, but I will understand. I was like that once, too. But you should also know that I’ll totally pull an “I told you so” when you decide you need your mommy after a bad day. Or something.

So, sweet baby, you’re welcome to come out any time now. We’re ready for you. And I know that I have all these hopes, dreams, ideas, and prayers surrounding your birth and your arrival – and I will continue to pray those things. But I know that God’s plan for your birth is bigger and better than my own – just like His plans are bigger and better than all of my plans in all aspects of life.

I know that He is testing our patience and our trust in Him. And we are okay with that.

But, if He could just speed things up a bit… we’d be okay with that, too. 🙂

In all seriousness, we love you and we are so ready for you.

Love,
Your mommy