{{Chambray: Old Navy (similar on sale!) // Tee: JCrew Factory (on sale!) // Jeans: Motherhood Maternity // Earrings: Apricot Lane // photos by my sweet friend Kristin

Here I am. Past the 41 week mark. Who woulda thunk I would ever make it THIS far sans a baby? Not I. Ahhh, how naive I once was.

But that’s okay! I’m still holding strong! I’m still doing well. I’m still breathing air and walking on the ground.

I’m keeping myself busy with work and spending time with friends (even if it’s just getting out of the house to get lunch). So, that helps the time go by a little faster (even though it feels like it’s going slow as molasses).

I’m staying positive. I really am. But I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I haven’t had my moments where I’m just down. I’m just sad. And I just need to cry. And that’s okay. It’s OKAY to just need to cry sometimes. It’s okay to feel sad sometimes. I know that it’s ALL going to be worth it in the end… but I have learned that I need to not always play the tough guy and that I need to allow myself to be pregnant, tired, and hormonal.

And sometimes being pregnant, tired, and hormonal means you just need to cry.

I also have to say another public HUGE thank you to my husband for being so unbelievably amazing. John, I love you so much and I’m so glad you asked me to marry you that one time. You are the best husband a wife could ask for and I couldn’t do this without you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Okay, let’s get to the official update, shall we?

How far along: 41 weeks, 2 days.

How big is baby: They say the average baby at this point is anywhere from 7-10 pounds. I’m still hoping he/she is closer to the 7-8 pound range.

Weight gain: Still holding at right around 50-55 pounds. Swelling really adds pounds… I can fluctuate like 10-15 pounds in a DAY. Yeah, that’s annoying. I am STILL working out, though! I’ve been walking every day and I’ve been going to the gym on days I don’t walk. So, I’m doing what I need to be doing!

Sleeping: Yeah, still not great. I got ONE really good night’s sleep because my midwife gave me ambien. I may request some more of that stuff because it knocked me OUT!

Food cravings: Cupcakes. 🙂

Food aversions: None really.

Symptoms: Hip pain is still pretttttttty killer and it only seems to be worsening. But stretching, sitting on the exercise ball, and walking seem to help. I’m also having a TON of contractions. I’m pretty sure they’re just Braxton Hicks still because I’ve been having them for almost two full weeks now.

Miss Anything?: Sleep. Not going to the bathroom every 12 minutes.

Doctor’s appointment: I had one on Tuesday and I have one today (Friday). At my appointment on Tuesday they did another NST (non stress test) where they just monitor the baby and me for an hour. My appointment today (Friday) will be another BPP (biophysical profile) where they will do an ultrasound to make sure everything looks good.

I also did end up going to the hospital on Saturday night… not because I thought I was in labor, but because I hadn’t felt the baby move in over six hours. So I called my midwife and she told me she’d rather be safe than sorry and had me come in to get monitored. Well, on the way to the hospital I did start having contractions and while I was there I was having pretty strong contractions like every two minutes for almost four hours.

They had me get up and walk around and they weren’t slowing down… BUT, I knew I wasn’t in labor. I’m fairly certain it was just the castor oil I had taken earlier in the day. Yes, I attempted the natural induction method of castor oil (at the recommendation of one of my midwives). It wasn’t delicious but it wasn’t as HORRIBLE as some people say that it is. Granted, I mixed it with a HUGEEEEE fruit smoothie.

It did not, in fact, induce labor. It just gave me contractions. Super annoying.

Well, basically, as of my appointment on Tuesday, I am 1cm dilated but “barely” effaced and the baby is no where near dropped into my pelvis.

We will see if I have progressed any at my appointment today, but it’s looking like I may have to be induced next week. They pretty much won’t let you go past 42 weeks… I’m just really praying that I don’t have to make that decision.

Wedding Rings: Still wearing my loaner ring.

Clothes: Still quite limited, but I’ve been trying to be a little more creative to help make myself feel more put together this week.

Movement: The baby still moves a lot but it’s definitely “slowed down” – I think this kid is just out of room. Which is why I was so concerned on Saturday when I hadn’t felt the baby move ALL afternoon – VERY uncharacteristic of him/her.

Best moment of the week: Having lunch with my sweet friend Dani and her sweet baby girl, Elle. Look! Elle can use my belly as a chair!

What I’m looking forward to: FINALLY meeting this baby. Seriously. It HAS to be any day now… right? Right. I know, this baby WILL be born.

What I did / Got for baby: Well, uhhh… I haven’t gone insane (yet), which is a start. And I’ve cleaned the house like 12 times. I also have folded and refolded diapers upwards of 15 times. I’m just looking for stuff to nest.

What I learned this week: That only 5-10% of women go 42 weeks with their first baby. So, this baby HAS to come soon. Right? Right!

Prayer requests: I am praying SO hard and so long and so often that I go into labor on my own. I have spent A LOT of time with the Lord this week and I honestly attribute my positive attitude (for the most part) and minimal crying spells (for the most part) to being in constant communication with God. It’s not like I’m sitting down having long prayer sessions, I’m just talking with God throughout the day asking Him to give me strength, help me focus, and keep me centered on Him. I know that He is in control of this. I know that.

But, the fact remains, I do not want to be induced. I want to go into labor naturally. I know that induction may be a reality I will have to face, but until that point comes, I’m going to continue to pray and ask the Lord to help this baby along naturally. And I don’t want the induction decision to be made for me.

I know plenty of women get induced. It’s just not my wishes at this point.

So, I am praying that I go into labor naturally. That I’m able to have a drug-free, natural, birth. That I don’t have to have a c-section. And that I’m able to breastfeed right away.

I know that not everything will go as planned and I know that it’s out of my control, but it doesn’t mean I won’t keep praying for those things!