OUTFIT DETAILS | Tunic: Elegantees (on sale – plus use code “stillbeingmolly” for additional 15% off & free shipping) | Jeans: Old, similar here | Necklace: Matr Boomie c/o (use “stillmolly15” for 15% off now through Mar 31st) | Shoes: The Root Collective (use code “molly15” for 15% off) | Earrings: Nickel & Suede | Bag: JOYN – get it at The Flourish Market (use “stillbeingmolly” for free shipping) | Wallet: Malia Designs c/o (use code MOLLY25 for 25% off)
I have been pretty open and candid with you over the past month. I’ve learned probably more about myself and, even possibly more about life, in the past month than maybe in my whole 32 and a half years combined. More than likely an exaggeration, but you know what I mean.
But one seemingly silly thing I’ve learned about myself is how important it is for me to take the time to “take care of myself” each day. No, I don’t mean general self care… I mean going to the gym, showering, brushing my hair, putting on makeup, putting on an outfit that makes me feel good. Those things are good and important for my soul.
They might seem superficial and they might seem unimportant, but when my overall mood and my emotional state is teetering most of the day and I could suddenly find myself bawling in a corner at the drop of a hat… setting myself up for “success,” if you will, can be a game changer for me.
I have heard from people I’ve run into over the past couple weeks, “Oh wow, you look great! You look like you’re doing so well.” And maybe in that moment I am, but I could have very easily been an emotional mess 15 minutes earlier. Who knows?
Are there days when I do not want to leave the bed and I do not want to change out of sweats and I do not want to brush my hair? Yes. That happens. But, I find that if I let myself fall into that trap, it becomes a spiral downward from there.
So, each day, I have to give myself a pep talk. I wake up, I thank God for that day, I thank God for the breath in my lungs, I thank God for my husband and my children… and I get up. It’s not always easy. But I get up. I do whatever I can to get to the gym… and some days I’m literally giving myself a pep talk the ENTIRE way there and even as the warmup starts and I’m doing 50 billion plank up and downs or 27 million burpees and I want to quit, I’m mentally saying to myself, “You can do this. You will feel better. Just one more burpee, just 5 more reps, just 10 more seconds. You can do anything for 15 more seconds.”
Many days, that’s all life is. It’s learning to coach ourselves through the mental hurdles. It’s learning to tell ourselves, “Just. Keep. Going. Don’t give up.” And man, that is hard.
The reward is so worth it. I always feel better after a workout – even if it’s just marginally so. I always feel better after a shower. I always feel better and a smidge more confident if I put on some mascara and fill in my eyebrows and throw on some blush. I always feel better if I put on a cute outfit and look in the mirror and say to myself, “You got this.”
Women in general put so much pressure on ourselves all the time. Doesn’t matter what it is, but we do. Pick a thing and we probably are criticizing ourselves over it.
And some days I have it in my head that I don’t want people to think I’m faking it or that I don’t care about the son that we lost or whathaveyou – JUST because I’m dressed and my hair is brushed and my makeup is on.
How ridiculous is that?! But these are the things running through my mind.
I’m learning one step, one minute, one hour, one day at a time. I’m learning that it’s okay to not be okay. I’m also learning that it’s okay to say you need help. I’m learning that taking 30 minutes to yourself to shower and get dressed and put on makeup is important – and putting your kids in front of the TV to watch a show so you CAN get that time to yourself is OKAY. IT IS OKAY. Your kids will not become zombies because they watched a show while mom took care of herself.
Grace, y’all. It’s a thing. It’s an awesome thing. Let’s give more of it to ourselves and other people.
What does all that have to do with this outfit? Well, the other day I wore this outfit to church because I like this color blue on me and I am in love with this beautiful necklace from Matr Boomie and my husband looked at me and said to me, “You are so beautiful.” And it make me smile and I felt good. So I asked my husband to take pictures of me in a moment where I felt good.
What about you? What things do you do to take care of yourself? What are your recent lessons learned?