100 Ways to Support Someone After Miscarriage, Pregnancy Loss, Stillbirth, or Infant Loss

October 15, 2019·
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October is Pregnancy and Infant loss awareness month, but today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Last year I experienced two second trimester pregnancy losses, back to back, within a five month period. The loss of my sons, Elijah Timothy and Malachi Jude, still hurts today. The grief never fully goes away. I think about them all the time and I think about the loss we experienced. I have had many people who have reached out to share their experiences with miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss – and I’ve had a lot of family and friends of people who are going through it reach out and ask, “How can I support someone going through this? How can I help someone who has experienced a miscarriage, pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or infant loss?”

I wrote a blog post on this last year, but this year, I decided to take it a few (100) steps further and put together an exhaustive list of tons of ideas on how to help and support a grieving family.

So, here are 100 Ways to Support Someone After Miscarriage, Pregnancy Loss, Stillbirth, or Infant Loss.


1. Get her a Held Your Whole Life necklace or keychain

2. Get her some jewelry inscribed with the baby’s initials or angel wings

3. Donate a Hope Mommies Box

4. Lullaby of Hope Box

5. Send a Bottle of Tears Gift Box

6. Give her a beautiful succulent plant (avoid giving flowers because they die. Succulents are great because they’re pretty and hard to kill)

7. Purchase a funeral or memorial service program for them (if applicable)

8. Pool money together with friends and gift her with… money. Some friends did this for my husband and I when we were grieving and it was a huge blessing.

9. Gift her a massage

10. Gift her a facial at her favorite spa

11. Put together a little DIY at-home spa day basket complete with a sugar scrub, face mask, good smelling lotion, a candle, etc.

12. Gift her a piece that has the baby’s birthstone on it

13. Gift a meaningful print or artwork from Lindsay Letters (this link gets you $10 off)

14. Gift the family an ultrasound picture frame

15. Get her a custom Mother’s Ring

16. Make a donation to a charity or nonprofit close to the family in honor of the baby

17. Gift them a cross with the baby’s initials on it

18. If she’s a bibliophile, gift her a subscription to the Book of the Month club

19. Drop off an iTunes gift card and some popcorn

20. Bring a “memory candle” that she can light to remember her baby

21. If she’s really into beauty, gift her a subscription to the Petit Vour beauty box – that way she gets a little something each month to pamper herself

22. Bring her some comfy pajamas, cozy socks, cozy slippers, etc. to help her feel relaxed

23. Take her to get her hair done

24. Take her to get her makeup done

25. This encouragement gift box is really meaningful

26. Get her some custom Sseko Brave jewelry (each charm has a special meaning and you can customize it for her)

27. A memorial garden stone like this one would be beautiful

28. If she loves accessories, design her a custom Sseko Designs bag or earrings that you know she’ll love


29. Don’t be silent… acknowledge the loss, say the baby’s name, don’t be silent.

30. Simply say, “I’m sorry.” Don’t try to qualify it or justify it. Just say you’re so sorry.

31. Avoid any cliches like “Everything happens for a reason.” and “God needed the baby more.” etc.

32. Give lots of hugs (if the person is a physical touch kind of person)

33. Be there to listen. Or not. Offer to sit with her or offer to leave her alone. Some days it may change, respect whatever place she’s in.

34. Remember special dates (due date, loss date, birthdate, Mother’s Day, etc.)

35. Pool money together with friends to hire a cleaning service

36. Don’t want to hire a cleaning service, but you love to vacuum? Offer to come clean her house yourself!

37. Offer to do a load (or 7) of laundry

38. Offer to pick up and drop off any dry cleaning

39. Offer to rent a cheesy chick flick or hilarious comedy and have a girl’s night in

40. Take her out to get a mani/pedi

41. If you like essential oils, make her an “Emotional Support” oil blend with oils like Frankincense, Lavender,  Rose, Blue Tansy, etc.

42. If she has other children, offer to pick them up and take them out for a playdate to give her a break

43. Offer to babysit her other children so she and her partner can go on a date night

44. If applicable, offer to help with any donation or organization of any “baby” things, nursery items, etc. around the house that might be painful to look at. This is a touchy one so enter with care… I had friends I had to just give stuff to. Others might want to keep something around. The most important thing is to offer to help.

45. Make them a Spotify playlist of songs to encourage them

46. Offer to mow their lawn

47. Offer to tend to their garden

48. Offer to purchase a tree to plant in remembrance of the baby

49. If you’re artsy, paint a beautiful picture for her to remember her baby

50. If you’re good with hand lettering, make her a print with her favorite Bible verse or quote hand lettered

51. If you’re musical, write her a song to remember her baby

52. If you’re crafty, make her something special to remember her baby

53. If you’re organized, offer to come over and organize her pantry or junk drawer or bathroom!


(ideas for books to read, words of encouragement, etc.)

54. Grace Like Scarlett by Adriel Booker

55. Loved Baby by Sarah Philpott

56. Grieving the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg

57. Empty Arms: Hope and Support for Those Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Tubal Pregnancy by Pam Vredevelt

58. I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy by Angie Smith

59. Breaking the Fear Cycle by Maria Furlough

60. Thirsty for More by Allison Allen

61. Waiting with Gabriel: a story of cherishing a baby’s brief life by Amy Kuebelbeck

62. We Were Going to Have a Baby but We Had an Angel Instead by Pat Schweibert (perfect for families with other kids)

63. Something Happened by Cathy Blanford (also great for a family with other kids)

64. My Sibling Still: for those who’ve lost a sibling to miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant death by Megan Lacourrege

65. Write the Word Journals from Cultivate What Matters

66. Bring in a Gratitude Journal like this one (and maybe write on the first page what you’re thankful for about your friend)

67. Get a set of encouraging postcards or notecards and snail mail them to her once a month for a year with words of hope

68. Send emails randomly with words of love, a funny story, etc.

69. If you have the gift of prayer, write out a beautiful prayer for the grieving family.

70. Bring her some beautiful watercolor scripture verse cards to encourage her

71. Randomly text your friend funny videos from the internet to cheer her up

72. Say, “When you’re ready, here’s a group / online forum specifically for grieving moms.” (Groups like The Joyful Mourning were so helpful for me).


73. Send a GrubHub, Postmates, or Uber Eats Gift Card

74. Set up a meal train for others to provide meals for awhile

75. Make a take a freezer meal or two or seven and bring them over

76. Drop off her favorite snack

77. Drop off her favorite beverage (my friends brought me lots of fountain Diet Cokes from McDonald’s)

78. Drop off her favorite dessert treat

79. Bring over an “ice cream sundae” making kit

80. Deliver an Edible Arrangement (so yummy)

81. Bring over all your “favorite store snacks” (A friend dropped off two huge bags of her favorite snacks and drinks from Trader Joe’s and it was SUCH a blessing)

82. Offer to go grocery shopping for her

83. Bring her a gift card to a local grocery store

84. If they have other kids, offer to make a few easy lunches for the kids throughout the week

85. Gift the family a subscription to a meal plan delivery service like Freshly, Hello Fresh, Home Chef, etc.

86. Gift the family a CSA or local produce delivery subscription

87. Gift the family a subscription to a meat delivery service like Butcher Box

Gifts for the Grieving Dad

(It’s so important to remember that dad’s grieve too, here are a few ways to support a grieving dad)

88. A simple, baby footprint leather cuff

89. Gift him a remembrance keychain (in case he’s not a “jewelry” person)

90. Take dad out to lunch to get his mind off things

91. Acknowledge the baby on Father’s Day

92. Remember him with a small gift like a gift card for coffee or donuts from his favorite place

93. Get him tickets to an upcoming concert, sporting event, or something he enjoys doing

94. Bring him a personalized wind chime to remember his child

95. Bring him a framed print with all the kids names on it (if the baby didn’t have a name, you can just put “Baby “LAST NAME””)

96. Bring him a memorial / in remembrance Christmas ornament

97. This meaningful planter box would be a great gift for a grieving dad

98. A memorial lantern would be a unique gift for dad

99. I love this Engraved Wooden Block for dad’s desk at work

100. The most important thing is to acknowledge that dad is grieving too… call him, text him email him, offer to listen. Dads grieve differently but their grief is important.

100 Ways to Support Someone After Miscarriage, Pregnancy Loss, Stillbirth, or Infant Loss