On Dreams…

Red Jeans: Stitch Fix (similar) | Denim Jacket: Belk c/o (similar) | Scarf: World Market | Graphic Blouse: Stitch Fix (similar) | Clutch: Stitch Fix | Earrings: Stitch Fix (gift) (love these) | Watch: Vierra Watches c/o (use code “BEINGMOLLY” for 10% off your order!) | Shoes: TOMS for Target (similar)

Photography by Em Grey

This post has nothing to do with this outfit.

You’ve been forewarned.

I’ve been thinking a lot about dreams. You know… life-long dreams. Living your dream. The American Dream. Dreaming big. Always dreaming. ALL OF THE DREAMS.

I was listening to a talk the other day where someone said, “When people say, ‘If you believe it, you can achieve it… that’s all well and good, but the fact is, that’s not really true.'” 

And boy did that ever resonate with me. I’ve always sort of felt that the whole “If you dream it, you can achieve it” thing was a bit of a farce. I’m not trying to be a Negative Nancy or anything, but let’s think about it for a moment…

So, if “If you dream it, you can achieve it” was true, then…

• I’d sing like Carrie Underwood
• I’d be able to move like Beyonce
• I’d have a body like Cindy Crawford (in her younger days, heck… even NOW)
• I’d be able to fluently speak all languages
• And I’d be a bajillionaire. Literally a bajillionaire.

None of those things are true and none of them will ever come true. No amount of dreaming is going to give me any or all of those things.

And that’s okay. 

The fact is, when we’re born, we’re given a gift from God. The gift of life and the gift of talents and skills. Some of us are given more gifts, some of us are given less gifts, but we’re all given a gift.

And often times, our gift might not match up with what we THINK is our dream. More often than not, what we THINK is our dream isn’t actually OUR dream… it is a dream planted within us by society. It’s a dream that we think is our dream because we think the only way we will feel successful is if we achieve that particular dream.

Are we tracking or have you lost me?

Let’s just talk examples here.

From the time I was able to talk, I wanted to be on Saturday Night Live. I wanted to make people laugh for a living. I would stay up late on a Saturday night and watch these brilliant comedians make the audience howl with laughter. Half the time (most of the time) I had no idea what the jokes meant, but I laughed because I knew what they were saying had to be funny.

That was my dream my entire life. I wrote and performed sketch and improv comedy for almost 15 years… And really up until about four years ago, I swore I was going to move to New York City and become the next Tina Fey.

Comedy was something I felt great about. I felt confident in what I was doing… Sure, like any other comedian I had nights where I totally bombed, but I knew I was good. I knew I was funny.

But as I got older and matured and realized what it would actually take to get on SNL… the less and less I dreamed of being there one way.

I watched comedians who were 1,000 times more talented than me get passed over time and time again and never get their big break and I started to doubt myself over and over again.

I admired my comedy friends who were out there DOING IT. Performing every single night without fail and hustling to get seen… going to auditions… writing…. performing… doing it all over and over again. I was so in awe of them.

But the more and more I started to think about what I wanted with my life, the more filled with doubt I became.

And as I really started to examine my life-long “dream,” I realized that the dream was actually a whole lot bigger than what I thought it was.

Would being on SNL be the best ever? Oh absolutely. But was being on SNL actually what I wanted? Not really.

I wanted (and still do) to make people laugh. Nothing gives me more of an adrenaline rush than the effect of making someone laugh. I want to bring joy to people. I want people to be able to escape from their problems for a few minutes… with me. I want to serve people. I want to love people. I want to spoil people.

My dream is ultimately to improve the lives of others…

Maybe that’s through laughter. Maybe that’s through an act of service. Maybe that’s through inspiring someone to get dressed today. Maybe that’s through showing someone how to apply a gorgeous red lip. Maybe that’s through a random act of kindness. Maybe that’s through helping someone get healthier through using essential oils. Maybe that’s through someone learning something they didn’t know before. Maybe that’s through someone feeling inspired to do something. Anything.

I don’t quite know yet what it all means. And the truth is, I think I’m finally at the point where I’m okay with it. I’m okay with that.

I’m learning that life, in and of itself, is all about trial and error. Life is about making mistakes, taking risks, and trying. It’s about stepping outside of your comfort zone(s).

It’s about dreaming big, and then totally reworking your dream, and then taking on another dream. It’s about being okay with not knowing what your dream is.

Right now, I know that I love to write. I love to create. And I love to bring joy and laughter to those around me… through this blog, through interactions in my personal life, through my family. I don’t know how it all fits together. I don’t know how it all corresponds. But that’s okay.

That’s life.