Who knew sequin shorts + a flowy blouse could inspire such deep thoughts?

October 18, 2012·

Something I often hear from people I know in real life (who also read my blog) say, “I love reading your blog because I can totally hear you speaking as I am reading what you wrote.”

And then, on the flip side, I often hear from people I meet who read my blog first and THEN meet me in real life say, “You talk exactly like you write!“

And that’s true. The former high school English teacher in me often shudders at my run-on sentences, poor syntax, and egregious use of the word awesome and various exclamation points.

I made a pact with myself when I started this little blog that I’d stay true to myself and remove all self-judgement from what I wrote or shared. Because the truth is, we’re all our own worst critics.

My blog isn’t a book or an article in the Wall Street Journal, it’s my blog, and I’ll write how I want to.

There are times when I sometimes question whether or not that‘s a good idea.

You know, “that” being all of it. My writing, my openness, and my general laissez-faire attitude about sharing the bits and pieces of my life that I want / need / choose to share.

And no, I don’t share EVERYTHING, I keep a lot of things very private. I just mean in general.

All the while, my writing is often peppered with pictures of me in what I wore on a particular day. Nothing too fancy, often wrinkled, and more often than not, purchased on clearance.

I’ve spoken before about my struggles with body image and whatnot (you know, not sexy or hilarious stuff, just raw truth), and there’s still that small voice within me that tells me I’m nuts for doing what I’m doing and that I’m only opening myself up to humiliation and criticism.

And maybe that’s true and maybe it’s not.

I’ve definitely learned a lot over the last five years, but I feel like I’ve learned more in the last two than I had in the previous three combined.

It’s hard. It’s not easy all the time. I’m happy and positive and optimistic 93.2% of the time. But there are days when I’m certainly feeling frustrated or down or whathaveyou. I mean, who doesn’t have those days?

And it’s certainly been tough at times dealing with mean comments on the blog. And I mean, MEAN comments. Not constructive criticism, just mean.

At first I let them bother me. I stewed on them. But I’ve begun to learn to use them as fuel. Fuel to get better, to do better, and to love and serve people better.

Why tear myself down when I can, instead, spend time enjoying life and bringing a smile to other’s faces?

Right? Right.

I’m aware that this was way too much deep thought for a Thursday. Not to mention too much deep thought to be juxtaposed against an outfit that involves sequin shorts and a flowy blouse.