Molly’s Money: Reader Questions – Limiting Yourself
I am SO glad that y’all are loving this series. I am LOVING writing it, so it makes me feel good that you guys are actually reading it AND getting something out of it. Of course we’re not always going to agree on everything, but if I’m at least getting you THINKING and TALKING and DISCUSSING, that’s all I care about. That’s where change happens!
Along with my own topics, I’m going to be peppering in “Reader Questions” throughout this series. Remember, you can ALWAYS pose your questions in the comments here or you can e-mail me your questions! I’d LOVE to answer them in a future post. You can also see the archives of ALL my money posts by clicking here.
Anywho. Let’s get to this week’s questions:
QUESTION: “I really need to learn how to walk away from “limited edition” what-have-you’s when I’m shopping leisurely! It’s so difficult!”
ANSWER: Okay, so there’s a couple things going here. First, the term “shopping leisurely” is a bit of a trap. It sounds simple, but the truth is, to prevent yourself from spending money you don’t have, don’t shop leisurely. Just remove the act of leisure shopping from your habits, activities, behaviors, repertoire, etc. I know, I know, this is hard. But it’s true.
But, here are a few tips to at least curb or combat this:
- When you go “shopping,” have a PLANNED OUT list in mind of EXACTLY what you need. I mean, write it down. If you’re going to Target (the biggest trap for this kind of unnecessary spending), have a list of every item that you NEED and your budget.
- Set a budget. I know I’ve said this a million times, but it’s true. Write it in stone in your brain. Set. A. Budget. Even if I’m going to Target to “look around,” I have a pre-set budget in mind of what EXACTLY I can spend my money on. Meaning, I control my leisure spending.
- If you know it’s there, don’t tempt yourself. If you know Target is launching a new collaboration, don’t rush to get it, wait. Think about all those people that spent ALL that money at Target when the Neiman Marcus collection came out and now you can get those items like 90% off.
Companies put out “limited edition” items to hook you in. And it works. But know that you CAN get limited edition items after they’re off the shelves. eBay is a GREAT place to find those limited edition items later. And most of the time, the company sells something EXACTLY the same year round. But they feel like they can up-sell you by slapping a fancy “limited edition” tag on it.
Just know that NO limited edition item or ANY item for that matter is worth going into debt for.
Next question!
QUESTION: What do you do to stop yourself when you get obsessed with an item or even just get an incredible urge to shop?
ANSWER: I know, this one is similar to the first question, which is why I included it. This one all, truly, honestly, really boils down to self-control. Which is hard.
I, for example, have been obsessing over a Michael Kors watch. For years. I mean, I have had a MK watch on my “Wish List” for upwards of three years. Do I own one? Nope. Still don’t. I just don’t have the money for one. I could go out and buy one now and put it on a card, but that is irresponsible and my husband would probably not be too pleased. But trust me, that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to. But I exhibit self-control.
In the meantime, I have a fake rose-gold watch that I bought from Target for $12.99 that is tiding me over. Is it the same? No. Does it do the same job as an MK watch? Yes. From afar can anyone tell that it’s not an MK watch? Nope. So, it’ll do for now. Will I ever own an MK watch? Maybe one day. But now, it’s not in the cards.
Sure this is a bit of a crazy example, but it’s true. And men are guilty of this, too. Men’s obsessions just tend to be over tools from Home Depot or cars or video game consoles whereas women want clothes, bags and watches.
So, I just say that you HAVE to ask yourself these questions when you become obsessed with an item: “Do I NEED this item or do I just WANT this item? Is there a more affordable version of this item that will suffice? Can I DIY this item? Can I wait and save up for this item?”
Maybe the solution for you is SAVING for the item rather than charging it. I already have my eye on a Kate Spade diaper bag. Yes, totally not practical, I know. I could get a much cheaper diaper bag. But I know that when I become a mom I’m going to be surrounded by baby things and giraffes and elephants and baby-ish things. If I have to carry a diaper bag around with me all the time, I want one that’s going to help me feel FAB even when I’m covered in spit up. So, what am I doing? I’m saving. I’m taking $20-$40 of my cash every month and putting it in a jar and come July, I’m going to pay cash for that bad boy.
BONUS: If you start to save for the item, you may realize you didn’t want it that badly in the first place.
And with regards to the uncontrollable urge to shop, find something else to do. Find an accountability partner. Someone who is willing to tell you NO. Or, go Thrifting. Or, sometimes what I’ll even do is take ALL my cash and cards OUT of my wallet and go to the mall to walk around. Obviously I have my ID, but I’ve removed all possible ways to spend money. Suddenly things don’t become that desirable when you don’t have a way to buy them.
The truth is, the answer to both questions all boils down to SELF-CONTROL and ACCOUNTABILITY.
Both of those things are VERY tough for some people, but so important. It takes practice and discipline. But it can be done. Trust me.
What about you? What do you think? Any advice for these readers?
I love this post! Your tips are spot on! I need to work on more self control! I too have been obsessing over a MK watch. I need to go check out Target!!
Thanks so much, moy!
I absolutely love the tip about emptying your wallet. never thought of that one – but a fantastic deterrent!!!
thank you so much, jamie!
I agree 100% about saving your money for that splurge item. I saved for months and months for my Christian Louboutins I recently bought. That was months of not buying anything, and I put all my Christmas money toward them. It’s a great way to make you feel ok about spending so much money on one item. And it could also put things in perspective to help you determine if you really want that item.
Meredith
createthatoutfit.com
that’s AWESOME, meredith! i bet those shoes mean that much more to you! 🙂
oh i love this…..i am really working on this to try to pay down some credit card debt…..my new favorite thing to do is walk around the mall and snap pics of my favorite items….when I get home I ask myself….”do I have anything in my closet that I can DIY to look like those items?” recycling clothes has become a new addiction…..also, I’ve recently become addicted to thrifting!
brooke @ what2wear
that’s awesome!! SO smart, friend!
I totally think you’re right. About everything, but especially your answer to my question, where you said that maybe saving is the answer (besides the do I really need it questions, etc). I realize that as soon as I start saving for something “big” I oftentimes lose interest after awhile. Which is great because I have that money saved! And saving to buy something makes it mean so much more to me!!
absolutely, niki! i’m so glad you think so, too!
Great advice Molly. I’ve had my eye on anything Tory Burch forever, but I’m trying to hold off. It is true if you don’t take any means of spending with you somewhere it does make it easier (obviously, but you know what I mean). One time I forgot my wallet when I was out with a friend, and I didn’t even have the desire to buy anything because I knew there was no possible way I could!
oh rebecca me too!! TB is my weakness – if only! 🙂 🙂
Great tips Molly! I’ve also realized that having a concrete date to buy things makes savings a lot easier. Prior to engagement, we saved money here and there but now that the ring is around, we’re DEAD serious about savings. I walked straight in and out of a Target spending less than $15 now. You’re right, it’s completely about self control and budgets!
thank you so much, evani!!
This is such good info that we try to live by {most of the time}. We were out of debt except our house until our 2nd child was in the hospital. We got 2 small loans to help with all the expenses and haven’t paid them off yet. We will pay them in full in the next month or two after we find out how much we owe in taxes. We did some “grief” spending after he passed that I don’t regret at all and we didn’t go any further in debt and still buy to feel a little better now and then. Its minor things like a clearance purse, top or toy for the kids. 🙂 This is a great series and I really hope people get as much out of it as they should!!!
Hailey @ Love, Laughter and Lipstick
that’s awesome, hailey!! it’s so hard and a constant struggle for so many people – but as long as we keep working at it, that’s a good thing! and thank you so much!
I have a certain number that I don’t like to go below in my bank account. If I’m over at the end of the month, it goes into savings. If I’ve been saving a lot recently and I notice I have some money I could part with, I’ll typically buy some bigger priced item that I’ve been longing for (that’s how I got my MK watch!)
The trick is to never buy the first one I see. I hunt TJ Maxx, Marshalls, outlet shoppes and a million websites before I make the purchase. If something still seems to expensive, the idea gets tabled again until the price goes down and I just keep an eye out for the future and hope I have the money then.
I do fall into the leasurely shopping trap sometimes, but I often go in saying “okay. $20 and that’s all”. When I only have 20 bucks on a shopping trip I tend to be more picky. A $20 shirt doesn’t seem worth it anymore unless I really can’t live without it!
Great tips!
Jenn
With Luck
oh jenn that’s a GREAT system! thanks for sharing!
Blogging is so hard sometimes, because there’s so much shopping inspiration EVERYWHERE. Seriously, I’m pretty sure I walk away from posts numerous times a day thinking I “need” something else. I’ve been trying to be really good about my spending, but you’re right–it totally boils down to self control. For me, it helps to keep in mind something bigger I’m saving up for–currently a new lens for my Cannon and a girls trip to Miami!
oh alyssa, i feel you. i know how hard it is! it’s a constant struggle!
Self control is one of the hardest things to overcome in regards to spending/budgeting/getting out of debt! I’ve realized that just getting out of debt didn’t solve my problems — I was the main problem! I do all the things you mentioned, especially avoiding Target. And Goodwill. Thrifting is my weakness.
absolutely, rebecca!! it’s so so so hard!
I totally agree saving for an item helps you evaluate if you really want/need it. Half the time, I end up not buying it because I see my money would be better spent on something else.
that’s awesome, beth! glad you feel the same way 🙂
Love the advice about saving and realizing you don’t really need it! Also with the latest “gadget” like cell phones and cameras! There will ALWAYS be a newer model out there. Literally always. I try to remind myself that the latest and greatest wont be for long, and so is it worth the extra $$ to have the “top” thing for the few months. Not really.
thank you so much, lauren! i’m so glad you found this helpful and that you feel the same way!
In a world of blogging, pinterest and instagram, you come across so many things that you WANT to buy. It’s hard. My parents got themselves out of credit card debt some years ago. Ever since then, my mom has made me terrified of credit card debt. LOL When I first got my own apartment, I had nothing and I was tempted to charge it! However, I slowly acquired things over time. It makes me appreciate my things more.
And you’re so right about saving. I’ve been saving for an iPad for the longest, and I should be able to get one in March. But with all this extra time to think about it, I’m not even sure that I will buy it now. I mean, do I really NEED it? IDK. It took me so long to save that money and now I don’t want to let it go. Haha!
oh crystal i TOTALLY know what you mean! it’s a constant struggle for me. 🙂 so glad you feel the same way!